who care.

Its been a long week. She has been experiencing the deepest moments in life in the 2 weeks. Everything wasn't come in a right way. She cried sobbed everyday, hopping there is miracle each day, waiting somebody can gv her a hand and save her out frm the darkest days. Each night, the moan broked the silence of night. Darkness even developing even long after sunrise. Imagination? no, there were facts. That was what she experienced.However, it seems that she has been waiting for something that will not come for near future. Things has changed...they are changing badly. Its beyond her control. she tried everything to mend these broken hearts, even she keep on finding excuses for things had happened just to make herself feel better. Thing will not be forgetted or be forgiven if it kp happen everyday. I started to experience fear whenever im thinking those moments she been through.

When she is giving herself hope and expectation, the more pain she felt from frustration. She has been giving him the real power to control everything in this. Even her days, emotional totaly been dominated by him. that was stupid, she used to think. but she was just helpless. Just like ppl said, she was poisoned. by? i Dono.. but it seemed to be everything.

but, 11 dec 2008 onward, she chose to let go. She finally decided to let go. not letting go him, but letting go her own thoughts, her demanding, her expectation, her wish. She wants to release from the burden. Things that he cant give her, she learning not to insist anymore. The more she insist, the deepest hurt she get. Problem not solved, yet her scar has becoming bigger and bigger. nobody will pity of her, not even him. Cause he doesn care anymore. Maybe he has his reason, bt nw, she will to find them out eargerly. As, it will always ended up with frustration. Even animal also know to back off after frustration, why cant her? She want to be an rational thinking human. not animal that has no instinct of thought.

Yet, i will say that, at this moment, she isnt feeling any better now because of the decision she made. But she is learning. She is learning to face the reality, learning to accept that thing cant always be as what she want. thing that isn belong to you, insist will make it worst. meantime Pray hard everyday, to get her happiness back :)