Total Eclipse of the Heart;

11:08 AM

i had a bad dream days ago.. i dreamt of something that i didnt want it to happend so soon.. and yes, in my dream, it happened. it seemed so real...what been thinking in the day, it just came out in my dream....So Scary...hopefull its just a normal dream, not representing anything or any sign it meant...Worries me..let talk bout dream, have you wonder why u have dream? According to my understanding, its our unconscious desires and feelings...Maybe its something for us to prepare for the future?or its just a random thought? Nobody knows...even the expert..Number of reasearch they have done, yet, not a exact conclusion they came out with...common explantion is just the random thoughts, development of neural pathways....blah blah... After all the crap, just want to say that..its just merely a dream...life stil get on after the bad dreams.. >.<

who care.

8:14 PM

i have some personal uncertainties in my inner world which kep bothering my thinking and my life..Remember i have been saying others changed since i came Aus? now, i realize, i changed s time goes by..i changed to be quite psycho. having some uncontrollable moment and problem with heart-related problem, anger management, stress management, grief & loss moments and extreme jealousy. Few of these problems been reflecting in my daily life. its part of my life circle..it began every mon..then it get sto stop during Fri and the weekend. i know whats bothering me, but i just seem helpless and cant get rid of those irrational thoughts..i learn to focus on my thinking, revealing my own mistakes..however, its stil not worrking..We customarily telling ppl to do this and not to do that when somebody is being depressed. however, when we actualy experience it, only we will get to know the exact feeling and understand it. we as human are born with an ability to be a rational thinker and also a tendency to be UNIQUELY irrational and sometimes will have those crooked thinking. we are all naive psychologist that like to see the cause and consequences of others' behaviours by using our own general theory. Thus, we closed ourselves in our small world, having our own small thinking. we like to know and understand others. Subsequently, if u r having a Negative n over generalized theory and perception on others, that it may not work in a proper way. Can see that, i m now having kinda negative perspective on others. Just a little small matter, i will Crooked it with my own reason. Its because i been exposing to much on those very Complex of thinking system?? or maybe its my instinct? GOd, get me out of here...

can i lock u ? keep u away from others? i don wan u to be exposed.. don wan others to see u..don even wan u to see and think of others..NOT AT ALL...can i ?... Its so unreasonable!!..why m i so overcontrolling? i nver used to be so Crazy...GOSH....i m certified as SIAO already...

who care.

4:35 PM

Ban Kei Ai...look kinda pass rite?
hahaha....Thought suria fan dono
hw to be cute meh...

Just improving
my photosnapping
skilll
look kinda Okie,
didn it?

Ehh...ini Babi
datang dari mananya??
Situ lo....Rundle Mall..
the pig statue..
with the pretty gal
beside...hahahaha....

Biiiggg Chicky
TRADED frm RAS..
geng le...
wait wait wait...
BUT not mine...
SObSob... *.*

who care.

4:24 PM

Just came back from grocery shop, Woolworth. Meantime, made a phone call to my sis..chat at the public phone for about an hour..talking bout my life and things been happening here.. Just miss her loads..Then, to summarize this week, i would say....HAIZ...its another week gone..haiz..time flies..dint even get a chance to stop it or pause it..can time go bit slower?let me wake up and figure out what m i gonna to do for the days..just give me sometimes to plan my days and life before it get on?been wasting time n doing nothing, besides rushing the tonne of assignments. Soon, the final is coming. 3 more weeks to go and i will have my final and will call it a semester already.Gosh, really cant believe i ve been here for 3 months.. came here at July, now its going to November already.. few more months left, i will back to msia..then got to look for a job and start my working life...NOOooooo...i don wan le....Soo scare...

who care.

9:26 PM

dear diary,

Things changed since i came to Adelaide. People around, people back at Msia, family at home changed. Within this short period, just the 3months..At home, sis facing some prob n in dilemma, revolving around 2 person..cant give much advice, hopping that she will come to an answer as soon as possible, so that wouldn't have to suffer from this worries..Then, its my Dearest Aunty, ever since i knew about her illness, i havent get to contact my family to update about her latest news.. Hope her medi check up goes well, and everything going well, stay healthy..Another shocking one, he is currently taking medication from the psychiatrist, to associate with his so called depression. Im not pretty sure about how serious is ur prob, But been noted as Depression, i think its gonna be serious this time. Being a psych student, didnt u know about depression?What made u to go for theraphy instead of leaning to get off those irrational thoughts? Being a 3 year psych student, i m fortunate and glad that i learn from what i have been exposing for these 3 years. Though, its always easy to listen rather than experience it , but i tried to apply what i learn to my real world.. dude, dont let ur fear control ur create the defences..try to confront them responsibly.. things are not as awful as how u tot about them, give urself a chance, to see things ahead..and u will find that, bright is ahead, Life is on ur hand.. wanna see u nex year as a person u used to be lastime.. A sakai like me..

lets back to Adelaide...i've been busying for my 3 assignments for a month. All due at the same week, consequently, rushing is all the time been on. even this week, i skipped 2 classes bcz of staying back to get my assignments done.Finaly, toda i survived from the war...wahahha...firstime in my Uni and college life, i used 5days to complete a lab report...this is the fastest achievement i have ever done. Somemore with 20 journal references...gosh...this Research Method subject is killing me, doing SPSS, RUnning data, Checking result, Searching past research, Creating questionnaire, recruiting participants...all got to be done in few weeks times..being a 3rd year student isnt an easy thing..however, after all these, i m getting more excited with my coming semester and days...i will fight against them..i wanna be a successful (not psychologist this time)..Bachelor of science in Psychology student!!

who care.